once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying

(via shouldnt)

girl: babe come over

boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple

girl: my parents aren't home

boy: I know